A crossing

A new year awaits. The wind is howling outside, the sky is filling up with blue grey clouds that blot out the sun and now and then the air shivers with the rolling boom of distant thunder. Rather ominous.

It’s my mom’s birthday today. Also– my grandfather had a stroke and isn’t doing to well. My parents keep on talking about the moments we have with my gran-dad is “borrowed time”. Fuck. That sounds so melodramatic.¬†Yesterday my mom asked to help put my grandfather to bed (he’s in a wheelchair now, and very weak) I couldn’t so I just fled the room. They understand that though, I think. Relationships with people are messy. And needless to say- things are very messy at the moment.

I have this need to be anywhere else but here at home, at the same time I am compelled to stay. A man I have known my entire life is dying. Just as he saw my coming into this world, I owe it to him to see his exit, I guess. There is a kind of sick symmetry in that.